There are a total of fourteen people that form part of my dad’s side of the family/ ( I am changing their names so as to respect their privacy)
For the most part, my family is known to be casual and care-free most of the time: They couldn’t give two hoots about what clothes other family members were wearing or what job occupations they had. They stuck to focusing on their own lives. This however was not the case with two of my dad’s sisters.
Nancy, the eldest of the two always has to be wearing thee most nattiest clothes of present times. There is yet to be a day that she wears a a particular outfit twice: She always has to own the latest and greatest of natty material items. What makes this scenario worse: Not only does she have to be wearing the latest and and greatest fashion – She also expects those who she comes into contact with on a daily basis to be living up to her ‘too-high-to-reach standards.’
Nancy always expected myself as well as my cousins to wear natty clothes, have a natty hair do as well as have a well paid job. It was incredibly exhausting trying to live up to these high standards. I always feel inferior and feel that I am not living up to her high expectations. She still finds something to criticize about no matter how hard we try to make ourselves look our best for her.
I let this this natty aunt of mine and her constant criticizing carry on for about two long, agonizing years until I finally crumbled while her consistent ammo was fired at me – I had a major break down caused by all the inner anxiety that build up because of all her horrible remarks. My anxiety was so bad that I had to be hospitalized for two whole weeks 😦
During my time in hospital, I had daily appointments with thee most wonderful psychologist and psychiatrist. The biggest lesson that I took from my psychologist during those rough two weeks was that “You can’t please everyone. When you’re too focused on living up to other people’s standards, you aren’t spending enough time raising your own. Some people may whisper, complain and judge. But for the most part, it’s all in your head. People care less about your actions than you think. Why? They have their own problems.”
Trying to live up to ‘natty’ people’s standards is tiresome. I quickly learned that my aunt was going through her own inner turmoil. I came to the conclusion that she felt that she needed to be living the natty life so as to hide her inner turmoil. I also thought the reason for her constant criticizing was to detract attention away from herself by unfairly hurting others others.
Moral of the story
Set your own reachable standards and enjoy life instead of trying tirelessly to live up to the standards of natty individuals